I've been re-reading "Dark Side of the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford and going through the exercises. If you're not familiar with the book, here's a review I found: Everyone possesses the entire range of human traits and emotions, "the saintly and the cynical, the divine and the diabolical, the courageous and the cowardly," contends Ford, a faculty member of California's Chopra Center for Well-Being. The problem, as Ford (and Freud) define it, is that in growing up, people suppress those behaviors, thoughts, feelings and characteristics that are unacceptable within their particular environments. But rather than daily sessions on the couch, Ford advocates re-imagining and reclaiming lost aspects of self, urging readers to "unconceal" and embrace those traits buried in their "shadow," in order to find their "gift." She offers exercises designed to bring such traits to the surface, including directed self-questioning; listing one's characteristics for closer examination of positives and negatives; and "discharging toxic emotions" physically. So that's what I've been doing, and I decided to share the exercises here ... bare myself to the world, so to speak. For many of the exercises you put on tranquil sounds, light a candle, meditate on being in a beautiful garden where you're safe, and then envision your meditation chair, where you sit and ask yourself the questions and listen for the answers. It's totally calming and relaxing, and I really enjoy that part. At first I thought I wouldn't know when the answers came ... but now I just trust whatever ideas come into my head as being the truth. Exercise 1 questions: 1. What am I most afraid of? - Pursuing my dreams. Going after what I want most in life. I'm afraid to because I fear I'm not smart enough, not good enough, not worthy. 2. What aspects of my life need transforming? - My health and physical fitness, though I've already made great progress at that. My self-esteem, sense of value, and confidence. I'm not sure how to work on those areas, but they need transforming. And I must not wait "until" -- until I think I'm ready or worthy. I must pursue my desires NOW, such as SINGING, which I love, and learning to play guitar, which I've always wanted to do. Even if it's just for me and no one else ever hears it, this is something I want. Writing - even if I'm never published, I enjoy doing it. 3. What do I want to accomplish by reading this book? - To feel more whole, more loving and accepting of myself, even my "bad" qualities. To love and accept not only myself, but others as well. To not be judgmental. 4. What am I most afraid someone else will find out about me? - That I'm not perfect, I do have human flaws - I am capable of being dishonest, immoral. I have had little self-control and self-discipline until recently with my weight control efforts, but other areas of my life as well. 5. What am I most afraid of finding out about myself? - That I am right about not being smart enough. That I'll waste my life, never pursuing my dreams because I'm waiting for my life to be where I want it first. My dreams will be forever out of my grasp. That my life is meaningless and makes no real difference. That no one cares enough about me to notice me or what talents I may have -- not even me. 6. What is the biggest lie I ever told myself? - Probably the lie of "if only." If only I were thin, or had money, then I would be happy. I'd be doing what I love and being who I want to be. That my happiness in life is ever ellusive because of forces or people OUTSIDE of myself, and because I'm fat, ugly or poor. That change is not within my power. 7. What is the biggest lie I ever told someone else? - Perhaps the lie of omission. The things I haven't told. 8. What could stop me from doing the work necessary to transform my life? - Me! Continuing to believe something outside of myself has to change first, that I have to wait for money to come or to be thin before I can go after what I want. That I have no power to transform myself. These beliefs could stop me. -------

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